Thoughts;

I sit here and observe so much around me;
people, conversations, expressions, environment.
I can't help but wonder about life; not only mine, everyones.
I still haven't figured out what I'm trying to find.
Our lives are full of events; in the past and present.
I sit here and analyze a numerous amount of things that I've seen.
Not one really makes any sense to me.
The one I am sure of, is love.
I believe love from different people make who you truly are.
Love from your parents, brothers and sisters, your friends.
I can't forget to mention the love of someone romantically.
All these different kinds of love make me wonder.
Expressions can change everything.
Feelings should be expressed, I believe.

The only thing I can really do is sit here, and wonder about..
well, life.
My definition of life: words cannot describe; not yet at least.

College;

is fun..
I'm having some good times on the weekends.
<3

I Love;

These two:

Decisions, Decisions; Lol.

He Rocks My Shit;

This guy is fuckin' awsome!
Go watch this on youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XC_vXz3U7g&feature=topvideos

I Hate;

being a teenager.
All this confusion.
Frustration.
Depression.
Confused if your going to make it and survive.
Frustration with yourself and the relfection in the mirror.
Depression because you know your the one looking back at you.
So much hate poisoned in the heart that was once so passionate about love.

It's silly how things go really..
Like turns to love.
Love to dislike.
Dislike to stranger.

Things are not what you'd hope for.
Never again.

& I'm So Tired Of;

Straight out.
Ima just be honest.
I have mixed emotions.
But you all need to stop listening to one side of the story.
Stop thinking you know me and shit when you have never even had a conversation with me.
It's stupid how everyone's like, "aww... poor ma*#&sa. she deserves better."
Idiots you don't even fuckin' know what the fuck I do for her.
You don't know how much shit i put up with.
No one knows how she fuckin' treated me.
Or all the shit she has done to me.

And my bad if I'm not right here running around telling everyone how much of a fuck up SHE is.
My bad if I keep our shit to ourselves.
Cause I mean, it was me and her in a relationship.
Not me, her and all her fuckin' friends.
Like seriously, I'm pissed off cause people are fuckin'
STUPID AND DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THEMSELVES.
YEAH I SLAPPED HER.
MAYBE IF SHE WASN'T PRACTICALLY FUCKING SOME GIRL RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME I WOULD NOT HAVE.
AND THIS IS A SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO HER:
Once you start missing me again, don't even think about calling me.
Cause I'm done giving you chances when you are crying to me.
Don't ever try again, cause I'm already gone.

Question of the Day; Something to Think About.

Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They’re both dogs.

Question of the Day; Something to Think About.

If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

Question of the Day; Something to Think About.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out?”

Question of the Day; Something to Think About.

Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

Question of the Day; Something to Think About.

Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp that no one would eat?

Question of the Day; Something to Think About.

How is it that love can make you feel a
happiness you didn't know existed,
but at the same time make you feel
so much misery with all the neglect
inflicted upon you?

Life as of Sept. 2, 2009.

Today is my nephew's birthday!
Jayden has been around for a whole year already!
Where did the time go?

My Life:
I'm always busy;
either with school, at the gym, or with my love.
& To be quite honest, I like it this way.
I'm tired, yeah. But at least there is not one dull monent in my day.

Happy Birthday, Jayden Baby!
<3

Word Up;

I want this summer to end already!
Time for school.
I'm a geek.

Out of the Blue;

I thought I was done;
Then she pulled me in for another run.
Love is so crazy.

I Can't Believe;

Today happened.
I'm happy and confused at the same time.
I'm giving you another shot;
please don't make me regret it.

Ain't Running;

I thought a lot last night.
I ain't gonna hide anymore.
Why should I be the only one to care?
Why should I give a shit?
Fuck that.
I'm done caring!

Time Off;

So I've been thinking.

I came to the conclusion that I'm gonna disappear;

for a little while I mean.

I need to get myself together.

I need time to think about what I want and who I really am.

I'm not going to let anyone else choose my deams for me anymore.

My destiny is what I want it to be.

Take care friends.

Life After Death;

Today is the day that my life will change.
No longer will I hold on to the past; only this, only today.
Everything in high school is over with.
The past is the past for a reason.
Today is the day I start my life;
and this time, I'll do it right.

Note To Self;

There is still so much to learn about life.
People are so different than what you expected.
You suprise yourself so many times in a day.
You do things, never thought possible.
You accept things that are simply unacceptable.
You reject things you feel in your heart;
only to please what someone else feels in theirs.
Some people are just too thoughtful, while others are too greedy.
Even though you understand this, you still don't mind.
But you need to stop letting people take advantage of your kindness.
You need to stop loving so much, and start to hate.
Cause if you don't, you will only run yourself into the ground.
And once your down there, the people you so truly adored;
they won't be there with a bandage to pick you up.
They will only be watching you, next to someone else.
They will be looking at the wounds you so generously recieved;
not doing a damn thing about it.
Only to leave you their to fend for youself.
In the end, that's all you'll have.
So don't put yourself second and others first;
because you were already put last once you ran into the ground.

Next up;

This is so confusing.
I need to figure out what I want.
Did he walk back into my life for a reason?
Is it a sign?
Am I being selfish?
To be quite honest, I think it's time to start thinking about what I really want;
instead of what everyone else wants.
I'm sorry, but I'm done.
I need something new..

As I Watched Her Fall;

"She seemed to look back once or twice.
In the end, she did not seem to care about what anyone else thought.
She only cared to fall.
Look at her now."
I read that somewhere, then I realized something;
that girl is me.

Just Has To Be Said;

I have not been this happy for a very long time.
I'm really happy that I can honestly say,
from the bottom of my heart, "I trust you, Baby."
This summer has taught me a lot; and I would have to thank the girl that put me through it all.
She showed me a lot.
Now, I have my girlfriend and a very good, healthy relationship.
Life has officially gotten so much better.
I'm not a mess anymore.
My girlfriend has picked up my broken heart, put it back together; and is stealing it from me once again!
Isabel Velasquez has been officially marked as: Happy.
:)

If I Were A Star;

I would shine upon you and guide you to the best possible life you could ever even dream of living; even if it ment I would burn out and fade away.

[[That is my future tattoo]]

Simple Truth;

After two years of saying it over and over in my head, I finally found the courage to say it to your face last night.
My intentions were not to hurt you, only to inform you.
Last night, you showed me that you're not the same girl you were three years ago.
I'm trusting you not to hurt me this time.
Your promises are something you better keep; cause to be honest, I can't take anymore heartbreak.
I'm going to let you back in; but I do want you to know, that it isn't going to happen over night.
Be patient with me; cause I've been patient with you all these years.
Everything we've been through, cannot be described with words.
I guess what I'm trying to say is:
I've been running from you all these years; but when I get too far, I always end up turning around and sprinting back to you.
Maybe this is what they call "The Real Thing."

P.S. Don't Think For One Second That I'm Not Scared, Cause The Truth Is;
I'm Fuckin' Terrified Of You.

Unsaid Apologies;

There are so many things that are just not right.
The best people, always get the worst.
The worst people, always get the best.
So there was this girl right?
Totally fucked me over; bad.
Too many things that were left unsaid.
Now the first girl I had feelings for walked back into my life.
And I'm happy about that.
Although, there is still too many things that are still left unsaid.
But there's this guy; he doesn't deserve this at all.
Yet, I leave too many things left unsaid; and I'm truly and honestly sorry for that.
"Love Life" is so complicated.
Story of our lives;

End of You.

I'm so tired of this shit.
People need to grow up and stop playing these stupid games.
This isn't The Hills; so stop with the drama.
I'm done with this shit, and I'm done with you.
And no, I will never forgive you; so don't ask.

Words;

Life is probably the most confusing thing you will ever have to face.
Nothing seems to make any sence anymore.
I'm so lost.
She says things that just don't seem to add up.
I guess she just feels so right;
I just wish no one had to get hurt.
I'm starting to think I was wrong.
But it feels so right;
Confusing Much?

Roar;

It's amazing how one talk on the phone or even in person can change your whole outlook on life and the people around you. There are just some people that you will be better off without. Also, some people that will make you the best possible version of yourself.
I guess I would have to say that today, changed my mind about many things.
Some people do not and never will recognize and like the qualities in somebody or something; and to be quite honest, those people are not worth your time.
Others, however, will love those qualities about you.
Those people are the ones you need to keep in your life.
What I am trying to say is:
Trust the people that have always gave you all they had; not the people that took it all from you.

P.S. I miss my baby.

Events of the Day;

I woke up to my niece yelling my name from downstairs. Then, I took a quick shower so I could get ready for church. I went with my dad and oldest niece, Alondra; she invited herself. I had a good time taking care of her during mass.
After church, I was at home waiting for the time to pass.
Then I went to my girlfriend's house for a few hours.
We went to many different places. When 5 o' clock came around, we had to say our goodbyes since I took her to work.
She made me the best burger I've ever tasted before I left.
It was so adorable how she made it; she even put it in the bag all carefully!
Thanks baby!
Today was a good day.
:)

Friday, July 31;

So last night was probably the best night I've had in a really long time. We talked about a lot; our past, differences, things we have never dared to say out loud to one another.
I guess what people say is right, about how your first love never dies.
Because to be quite honest, I've missed her.
Miss her no more, she is mine once again.

To Make a Long Story Short;

When this summer started, my life went to shit.
Now suddenly, its like changing over night.
It's just amazing what one phone call can do to a person.

The Old Side of Me.

Dear Cutter,
Come a little closer,
Come to me.
I am the only one,
That can set you free.
Your friends and family,
They don't care.
So I'll be your friend,
Since no ones there.
I can cure depression,
I can stop the tears.
I can take away the pain,
That you felt for years.
I'll never break a promise,
I'll never tell a lie.
I'll never be the one,
That makes you wanna die.
I'll be right there,
Until the end.
And I promise to be,
Your very best friend.
So come a little closer,
Come to me.
I am the only one,
That can set you free.
Your broken heart,
Will become a spade.
Now no more heart ache,
Love Sincerely,
Razor Blade.
P.S. I'll try not to hurt you,
But there's no guarantee.
You might even like,
The sharp side of me.


Dear Razor Blade,
I Came to you.
You lied to me,
You caged me up,
And didn't set me free.
My friends and family,
They did care.
You weren't my friend,
But you were there.
You didn't cure depression,
You caused crimson tears.
You gave me more pain,
That I will feel for years.
You broke your promise,
You told your lie.
And you are the one,
That will make me die.
You were right there,
Until the end.
And you were my killer Not my friend.
I Came to you.
You lied to me,
You caged me up,
And didn't set me free.
My broken heart,
Is now a spade.
Still Broken Hearted I Hate You,
Razor Blade.
P.S. I'll try not to use you,
But there's no guarantee.
A life without cutting... How hard could it be?

So Far;

This summer has not been so great; need I say more?